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I want to blog. I don’t want to blog. I want to write something so epic it spikes her curiosity to an all time high. I have the greenest grass and she wants to roll around in it. The odds are against me 99:1 but what if that 1 comes through? Even I know my grass isn’t really that green. I wouldn’t want her to feel cheated. It’s still 99:1 but my heart skipped a beat when I saw her email. I laughed because of the improbability. I dared to dream that fairy tales did exist. What else could it be?

 

A good lawyer will tell you to always read the fine print, especially when things seem too good to be true. My fairy tale was short lived not because I read the fine print, but because the fine print was read to me. Not only did she have grass of her own, but the grass came with a house 2 dogs and a housemate she happened to be dating.

 

I want to blog. I don’t want to blog. I don’t want to write because I don’t want to seem disingenuous to those that read my words and personalize them. I don’t want to write because I know that 1% will one day become 0. I don’t want to write because I want to keep dreaming. I want to dream that she popped back into existence only a few days after I made my last attempt to find her because I was meant to find her. Our missed opportunity would correct itself. Someone who made my heart skip a beat once would not slip from my grasp yet again. This is her second time and that’s a first.

 

A good lawyer will tell you when taking a plea is the best deal. How do you tell a lawyer what her best deal is? Matters of the heart are rarely black and white and neither are legal matters. How do I know if I even matter? She holds all the cards and she gets paid to negotiate and dissect arguments for a living. That is a very formidable task for a layman.

 

I think the best deal for me is to be happy that the 1% exists. This is my Inception. It’s also my reality. I’ll just keep drinking till it gets to 0.

 

Thank God It’s Five, TGIFive.

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